They say to get through grief “you must go through each of the seasons” and great loss makes you think about every interaction you’ve ever had.
Each challenge, every triumph, every single season.
At first, you watch the people around you, just as desperate and confused. Then you will laugh at the stories, and make no doubt, you will cry again. Knowing it’s the last time you’ll ever be with someone you love, you’ll whimper, scream or even fall to your knees.
And you will again, and again.
Yet, as time goes, you will discover that even in the changing of seasons, and with new perspectives coming each day, that the immeasurable void remains entirely the same. From the funeral to the grave, the 1st-anniversary date to the 20th, the depth of the pain remains unchanged.
So with each fall and with each season, you will rise and you will walk again. Until the next season that brings you to your knees.
Great grief doesn’t tire through just one year of seasons- it takes you- for all of the rest of them. It’s great love with no exit sign.
So, when they say “it takes a year of seasons”, please understand that saying “goodbye” to someone you love for the last time, is also saying “hello” to your new self for the first time. Because it is not just the final season of their life, but also the first season of the rest of yours.
The truth is, there is no agenda for loss. No timeframe for recovery, no amount of seasons that will make it different. There is only trusting in your heart that to have been afforded great grief, we were lucky to have first been afforded even greater love.
But you dont just “get through it.” As time goes on, you learn to accept the seasons of your heart, just as you have always accepted the changing of each season.